Amplify: A Survivor's Foreword
“In this present era of life, I wake up and I feel alive.” - Jazé
I am here, I am alive, I am awake! I am on a journey to fulfill MY PURPOSE! For many years I was numb, I was on mute. I did not give myself the opportunities that I deserved. It was a painful realization to know that I had abandoned myself, quite a few times, to offer up the world for others. Tirelessly I felt myself slipping away, but I was not able to see it until I picked myself up to face my reflection. My past few years have been filled with trauma that bled into my day to day life as post-traumatic stress. I was barely surviving each day when this past year became a battle for my life.
As I type this up, I’m realizing this might be the first time I am stating this publicly. And my self-doubt is kicking in right about now, asking me whether I should state this publicly. I override that self-doubt because I have chosen to amplify my truth and to honour myself. My truth is that... It was a gruesome fight for my life and I am a survivor. I am more than a diagnosis, I am more than the trauma, I am more than my bad days. I am so much more; I know it and feel it. I live on with the remnants of post traumatic stress and the pangs of depression kick in every so often, but I feel more alive than I ever did before.
Day by day I picked up the pieces. I began to break down the walls that I had put up all around me. I started to walk in my worth as I shed old layers of trauma. I threw myself into massive changes that were needed, a major shift started to take place and everyone around me felt it and was witnessing it. I fought and I fought hard. A strong drive was in motion, it pulled me to amplify and empower every part of me that had been oppressed. I cannot begin to tell you how powerful this journey has been.
Everyone that knows bits and pieces of my story will tell you how contagious my energy is today. I dance on the edge more than I ever did before; I throw myself into the deep end not knowing how to swim but determined that I will learn and survive. I am enough and I always will be, my vision and intuition is strong. I am always listening to this mind and body of mine, leaning into self-awareness and authenticity to direct me through the flows of life.
How does one get to this point?
Behind the woman that amplifies her truth today is a personal self development journey that I believe is a lifelong journey. There is no one size fits all formula but there are several steps we can take to reach higher levels of self awareness and emotional intelligence. A good place to start is to face the areas of our lives where we are self sabotaging.
Here are a few common ways in which people self sabotage:
Minimize painful events or difficult emotions
Numb difficult emotions instead of making space for them
Refuse to seek help or support
Break promises with themselves
Repeat unhelpful behaviours
Will not take or see accountability
Engage in negative self talk
Compromise their values to please others
Procrastinate in working towards goals
Maintain unhealthy relationships
Abandon mental health and self care routines
Prioritize comfort over growth
Have a lack of boundaries with others in their lives
Ultimately, the list can go on forever… but these are just some major game-changers that are worthy of diving further into. Becoming more aware of where you may be self sabotaging can be a huge stepping stone to self development and empowerment. Wherever you are in this journey of life, we all have space for improvement as long as we have the determination to work on ourselves for OURSELVES! Amplify your power and bet on yourself, this life will offer you so much more when you do.
With love always,
Jazé is a multidisciplinary artist and a mental health advocate from Toronto. You can find more about Jazé here and here.